I'm sorry, I lied
by Red Carnation
Summary: Well, this is a Laley and it's pretty sad, Haley misses Lucas and there's not much more to tell about it so just read it and find out...


**_Hey everyone! This is a oneparter/songfic and the lyrics are from the song My Imortal by Evanecense. I hope you like it and please review, I would love to know what you think about it. Love / Malin_**

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I'm sorry, I lied.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

You have been gone for 13 days now, I miss you so much. I hate the way we left things. No, not hate I promised myself that I would never hate anything ever again. Another thing I promised myself is to never leave an argument or let someone leave me after one. Never again will I let an argument be my last words to a person whom I love.

I walk through Tree Hill towards the rivercourt, that's where Nathan taught me to throw a free throw. Nathan. We broke up exactly 13 days ago and I haven't seen him since. In fact I haven't seen anyone since that day or should I say night. I stop at the rivercourt, sitting down staring at nothing and everything.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

How long I've been sitting here I don't know, my sense of time left with you. It's dark now, it must be getting late. I walk away from the rivercourt but not from the memories. Your mother's café is closed now, I use my key to let myself in. I sit behind the counter and I cry, this brings forth another memory of you.

"_You know, just this once, I deserve a big, fat 'I told you so'."_

"_Well, you won't get it from me."_

You were always so kind and caring. You never left my side, even when I told you that I liked Nathan. I was so stupid, I never realized how much you mean to me. I should have told you how much I love you but I didn't, it felt to 'creepy' as I put it. Now I wish I would have ignored that feeling and told you.

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating life  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

"_You know what, Luke? Next time you see me, don't talk to me."_

Those words keep repeating inside my head. Like an old movie I can't turn off I see myself slam the door and walk away. If I had known that it would be for good I wouldn't have left but I couldn't have known that.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

You have been gone for 34 days now, I still miss you. I don't think the pain will ever leave, I will carry it around the rest of my life. Life… that word hurts. It can so easily be taken away.

I miss going thrift store hunting with you, I miss buying bad music and lie to the campus lost and found and claim dumb stuff with you. I don't do those things anymore, it hurts to much.

I used to be afraid of cemeteries. I am not afraid anymore. They are my only comfort, you are my only comfort. That's why I'm here today, sitting on the grass with white flowers in my hand.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

"_Haley, pick up. There's been an accident. Lucas is hurt pretty bad. Haley?"_

Keith's voice on the answering machine. That's the only thing that prevents me from hearing my last words to you all over again. Not that Keith's words are any better.

Silent tears run down my cheeks. I don't wipe them away, not anymore. They just keep coming until there are no more tears left to cry. I put the flowers on the ground in front of the stone and lay down beside them. I wish you were here so that I could lie in your strong arms and hear you heart beat. That's not going to happen, because your heart doesn't beat anymore. I choke back tears. I'm shaking now, lying on top of your grave on top of you. I wish you were here so that I could tell you that I love you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I lied. I didn't mean that I don't like the person you were becoming, I love you.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

_

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**Once again I hope you liked it and pleas tell me what you think.**_


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